All hail to the nap
Original blog written 12/30/16
My son is now almost five months old and my life revolves around THE NAP. When he was younger I could get him to nap anywhere! We were still on a nap schedule, taking four naps before 5pm, but I would schedule the naps around my life. If we were to be somewhere at noon, I’d make sure to leave the house early so he could get a solid nap in the car. Or I’d take him for a long walk in the stroller so he could nap. Mommy gets some exercise and baby gets a nap – a win, win situation! I wasn’t going to let the baby’s schedule dictate my own. Look at me! I’m out and about every day and I’m still getting my son to take his naps. His first and fourth nap would be at home in his crib and the middle two naps would be wherever we were during the day. I walked around thinking I had it made in the shade.
Then he turned four months old. All of a sudden he wouldn’t fall asleep unless he was in a quiet, dark room. He was now too interested in the world to fall asleep on the go. On top of that, we suffer from the short nap, otherwise known as the “crap nap.” His naps are only lasting 35-45 minutes. Today, he even had some solid 26 minute naps...KILL ME. The shorter the nap, the less awake time he can handle, so I am constantly putting him down for a nap. This means I pretty much never leave the house. We can go for a really quick errand, but as soon as we get home it’s naptime. However, if I miss that tired window by even a few minutes, he’s now overtired and won’t go to sleep as easily and I’m guaranteed a really crappy nap.
I do have to admit that; overall, he is a great sleeper. He was sleeping in his crib by 6 weeks old (only because he was too noisy to sleep in the bassinet next to me), we started putting him down “drowsy but awake” around 8-10 weeks and we were on a four nap routine by 12 weeks. From 3.5 – 4.5 months old we did hit a bit of a regression where he was sleeping a four to five hour stretch at night, then up almost every two hours like a newborn. We also traveled during that time for Thanksgiving, so that didn’t help things. Right now he is back to two night feedings, one around 1:30 am and the next around 4:30/5:00 am at which point I am up for the day. He will then sleep until 7 am most days. I am extremely thankful for this. According to the Wonder Weeks app, we have about nine more days of this bliss before another shit storm (AKA Mental Leap 5) rolls in so I’m not taking anything for granted.
With that said, we are still struggling with the short nap. The biological reasoning behind the short nap is fascinating and makes complete sense. Around four months of age, babies start sleeping like adults meaning they now have REM (light sleep) and non-REM (deep sleep) sleep cycles. A baby’s sleep cycle lasts approximately 40 minutes. For example, 5 minutes of REM, 30 minutes of non-REM and another 5 minutes of REM sleep at which point the baby will wake up. We as adults have about 90 minute sleep cycles; however, we are able to seamlessly go from one sleep cycle to the next whereas babies need to learn to do this. I never thought I would read so much about baby sleep!
I guess Michael is still learning to transition from one cycle to the next. I can pretty much time his naps to the minute and watch him startle awake once the first sleep cycle ends. I'm obsessed with his naps. I literally count every minute and watch him like a hawk on the monitor praying he stays asleep if I see him twitch. It's crazy, I know. I’ve tried everything to get him to take longer naps. I’ve compiled a list for your reading pleasure:
I duct taped the Wubbanub animal to his chest so he could more easily get the pacifier back in his mouth when it fell out. Illegal? Not sure, but it worked sometimes.
I took away the pacifier because he would cry when he couldn't get it back in his mouth when he woke up. He still cries when he wakes up, but hey, now we’re weaned off the pacifier! (except for car rides)
I started using the Merlin Magic Sleep Suit in the hopes it would muffle his startle when he woke from a sleep cycle. Nope. He does actually go down for naps easier in it, but now this is yet another thing I have to wean once he starts rolling over both ways.
I tried “re-setting” his sleep cycle. This is a method where you ever so lightly rouse the baby about 15-20 minutes into the nap. Just enough to see an eye flutter. This is supposed to reset the cycle resulting in a longer nap. It works, but you run the risk of fully waking up the baby resulting in an extremely short nap and cranky baby. I stopped this because it was stressing me out too much.
I tried the “bore to sleep” method where you leave the baby in the crib for a full hour from the start of the nap. If he wakes up after 40 minutes, he stays in the crib for the last 20 minutes. Eventually they are supposed to learn that naptime is one hour no matter what. They’ll get bored and go back to sleep (haha). I think he is too young for that right now.
I recorded myself humming the song I sing to him in the routine prior to the nap and put it on repeat in his room hoping that my voice would help him relax if he startled awake. Still doing this, not sure it’s helping.
I’ve been rattling my brain and stressing myself, and my husband, out about naps. According to everything I’ve read he should be consolidating to a three-nap schedule by 5 or 6 months, and at this rate I don’t see that happening.
The other day I told my husband that I am done trying out new things to get him to nap longer. Maybe he is just not ready to seamlessly transition from one sleep cycle to the next. He’s only 4.5 months old and I am already pushing him. I feel bad for him when he starts school. I’ll be having him fill out college applications at the age of 14.
Having a baby is truly a test of patience. A test I am currently failing. Hopefully in the next month or two he will start taking longer naps and I will try not to force it. I have to remember that this too shall pass. He can’t possibly take four short naps a day for the rest of his life, right?